17 Apr 2017
I have suffered the dreaded D word, depression, since 1994, but wasn’t diagnosed until about 1996. Back then I had no idea what I was going through. In those dreadful days before I got help, I would kiss my wife goodbye and head off to work, not knowing if I would return. I would drive two hours to an auction and cry for those two hours. I’d be a gibbering mess, but then I’d get up an auctioneer and do my bit, happy as Larry, and then hop in the car and the same thing would happen on my way home. I knew something wasn’t right. The first time I attempted or thought about suicide was in about 1998.
My help-seeking began when I started noticing that I wasn’t in the best physical or mental state, I was 174 kilos, and had high blood pressure, so I visited my local doctor. After I nearly broke down answering some of his questions after a few visits, he diagnosed my feelings as depression and started me on medication. It hit me that what I was feeling had been doing a pretty damn good job eating me away mentally and putting dark thoughts in my head.
This is when I rang that vital number. I had always heard of 13 11 14, Lifeline’s crisis number, but I had done nothing about it. After I made the call to Lifeline, my life changed from there. There was something around the corner and that little bit of light was there.
I am now a better person and am living life to the max. I have my physical health as well as the once dreaded D word under control. I always remind myself about it, I had depression but with the help of friends, family, a good doctor and the good Lord, I got through it. The main reason I share my story is to help others out there who may be feeling like I was, I want to say: “Hang in there and be strong.”
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