| What
kind of Dad do you want to be? |
There is only one kind of
Dad - “You”
Parenting is usually in a
range from:
 |
Authoritarian (Strict parent-focused) through, |
 |
Authoritative
(supportive child-centered) to |
 |
Laissez-faire
(withdrawn child-focused). |
The Authoritarian parent
style is based on discipline – ‘Do as I say’.
The Laisez-faire parent style
is based on – ‘Do as you want’.
In between these extremes
is the Authoritative parent style which is supportive and child-centered,
based upon being a good role model for your kids about the things
we all need to know to have a safe and responsible life. It is not
about being a formal teacher and ‘telling’ your kids
how they will ‘do their life’. It is about giving them
basic skills so they can negotiate life. Guidance and discipline
(limit setting) are preferable to punishment in this approach.
Parents often say ‘I
want to be the best parent I can’, and this is admirable.
But, how sustainable is ‘being the best parent I can’?
Beware of trying to always be a perfect parent. To be a perfect
parent you would need to be perfect, with perfect children, in a
perfect world. None of us are perfect.
After much discussion we
need to trust ourselves and ‘be the best parent we are’.
It is better to give parenting a go, rather than being frozen with
fear in case we make a mistake. Trust yourself to be there for your
kids. They would rather have you give it a go than be distant.
If you make a mistake, your
kids will let you know. That does not mean you have to stop parenting,
just give it a tweak. Like driving a car, you deviate from danger,
but gently steer to stay on track. |